It's Just One Of Those Days

I sit behind my computer in search of a way to explain exactly how I feel today.

It's just one of those days...

I feel sad, even though I have two beautiful daughters and an awesome boyfriend.

I feel alone, though I have an amazing mother who never strays from my side.

I feel cold and hungry, though I have a roof over my head with food in the cupboards.

I feel hopeless, yet I'll forever preach that there's always hope.

I feel ashamed of the world I live in, but proud to be a Canadian.

I feel criticized as a mother, yet I always say I don't care what others think.

I feel disgusted over some people's lack of maturity and respect, though I allow them to remain a burden inside my head.

I feel at a loss of guidance, though my ears don't lack advice.

I feel lost for words, with so much to say.

I feel ugly inside and out, because it's days like today that the bad portion of me shows it's face.

Today I am letting life and it's hardships take it's tole on me. Every negative past experience has caught up and is now trampling me. I truly do feel guilty for complaining about life because "each day is a gift and not a given right". If I left this world today, on such a negative thought and feeling, I would never have closure. Life is meant to be lived and loved, not criticized and taken for granted. But just like a recovering addict, I too relapse sometimes. Everything I've worked so hard at, all of my morals and values, everything life stands for slips out of arms reach...just for a little while...resulting in days like today where I've fallen victim to insecurities and ungratefulness.

"No one said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it"